Autistic Brain

Every sound pings his brain.
Although his hearing is fine,
he rarely meets my gaze.
He fidgets, paces, or circles
as his mind travels mazes of thought.

Contact is not needed, unwanted
touch disrupts circuits,
dislocates the signal from nerves to brain.
He holds my hand on rare occasions,
the ultimate sign of affection.
Sharp as a tack, recalling detail
at the drop of a hat.
He searches the recesses of his mind,
processes questions,
retrieves data along encyclopedic relays.
Mental rifling, through
an accordion file folder mind.

Roots

The train pulls away
just as I settle into my window seat
"Lucky you, every holiday you visit a new home"
My friend's refrain makes me smile
Three uncles and an aunt
from both sides
Four destinations
Two vacations a year
Every fourth trip to the same house
Very clockwork
Very precise
Ever since I could remember
That had been the routine
They were all kind
and loving
The rest of the time I was in the hostel
Shorter holidays were spent with
the sisters in the convent
who loved me even more
Orphan that I was
You wanted me to write on roots?
Well....
Yes of course
I do have them
No tap root
Only fibrous ones
Spread across
Four cities.

Beautiful Slave

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jYU9meVXKg

I don’t know where I am
They’ve taken all that I had
smuggled in for a lucrative trade
beaten, bartered
broken in, until I obey
I used to be childlike
innocent and safe
now I’m someone Else's treasure
a stranger's pleasure
smothered in shame
succumbed with drugs
but I’m not numb
all I feel is pain
is this all a dream
will I ever be the same?

can anyone hear me?
will anyone break these chains?
who will free me?
from this dark place?
does God see me?
what is His name?
will He help me?
I’m just a beautiful slave
my worst fear is my fate
I’m getting older each day
every girl too old in years
mysteriously just disappears
they never mention her name
they take away piece by piece
I don’t think I have any left
I’ve slowly given up all hope
given in to this sleepless bed
inside these bars
I feel so seared
by each new face
how could this ever be
every memory be erased?
He can hear you
He’s seeking you,
He wants to heal you
Jesus knows the real you
Jesus Loves The Little Children
All The Children Of World
Red and Yellow, Black and White
They’re Precious In His Sight
Jesus Loves The Little Children Of The World
He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands
27 MILLION PEOPLE ARE ENSLAVED TODAY
80% ARE WOMEN 50% ARE CHILDREN
EVERY MINUTE TWO CHILDREN ARE TRAFFICKED…
…FOR SEXUAL EXPLOITATION
TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE
“The Oppressed Will Be Set Free.” –Jesus Christ
Please share this music freely with others.
Use it as a tool to stop this injustice.

The Summer Rain

Half the way through to my destination.
Having seen seasons, fifty of each-
Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter.
I feel burdened with memories of days
out of reach.
Why then does this Summer feel so barren,
so heavy with the vapors of memories
bitter and sweet !
Clouding my eyes so often,
this Summer rain washes away the worldly clutters,
making space for seasons new.
To gather more clutter
as I continue in life's journey.
Coaxing myself to live the remaining days few.

The Power Of Dreams

I cannot go inside your dreams,
Only angels know that place.
And if I recognised you –
Would you have a different face?
The rising tide that washed our feet;
Has long reached a different shore,
The clouds have changed from dragons,
And just turned to clouds once more;
The roadside knows my footsteps –
Somehow an echo has remained,
But the crossroad sign has turned around,
Nothing here is still the same.
So which road will I follow now?
I’ve crossed rivers, waded streams,
For me it doesn’t matter –
No, for me it doesn’t matter –
I have lost the power of dreams.

Back to music

                                                                                                                                                                         

Music drives you crazy,music make you insane,music gives you life and music never let you die alone.Finally I found those lost headphones back.Days are passing by and I'm wondering why I'm still around.No clue what to do next.One step ahead and I will fall and can't even step back.I finally continue to be alone wondering what my true purpose is,just getting away from all the stress and trying to protect my soul(from what?I am not sure about).A completely numb stage where you have no idea what to do next,you can't please everyone,you can't settle your differences.

A journey on a completely scary streets and no one to tell the directions.The various colours  life has shown in past few months will be  a part of my memories(Black-Blue,Black-White,Angel-Devil,green and what not....:D)
The multiple personalities I occupied to deal with the external world were the real source of anxiety and what I have carried forward with me even through all the turmoil I have been through will always be a bitter-sweet symphony of memories.Yes,I am recluse and deviant and unsocial and I prefer peace and quiet.I am kind of averse to going out with friends to parties and all(No time to get drunk,I am already at home :D)
Most people with that so called "social" tag live an extra ordinary life with party,light,booze and all other stuff.If this living life like a rich bastard is what you call life is all about,I would rather prefer to say I don't have a life.I lead a normal life,that innocent monster in me loves to live alone with those manipulated scary-senti *dreams*.
 
It's 2 am.Yes,it's raining cats and dogs and I'm here sitting near the window,in depth of solitude,all alone,doing nothing but tapping fingers on my laptop without any reason,the irritating darkness,the anguish,pain and image of those slimy backstabbers,dumb fuckers,asinine morons and lousy souls and many random thoughts in my fickle
mind never allow me to sleep.Emotions,what are they? Sometimes I wish I could kill some people.If it sounds abnormal,yes I am abnormal.Why can't we live the way we want to? Where is freedom? Why is it necessary to read and learn the shit we don't want to?Fuck all rules,regulations and all other society's terms and conditions.Fuck politics.Fuck Indian Education system.Yes,I am frustrated.And this venom spitted in form of words is due to this frustration.Dreams screwed,life screwed and still pretending as if nothing happens.Why I am living?
  
 The faint light coming from top of the window still enlighten a ray hope and keep asking the same question again "will a new life be achieved under the sun"?or that sun won't rise again? The completely clueless mind with no answers.What if I never wake up,it turns out to be a nightmare,a worst nightmare.What if this night never ends..what if??

P.S. Yes,results are out and this crap is an outcome of it.Yes,I am officially dead.

Sayonara. 

The Wayfarers!

..Sometimes the journey itself is the destination.They love their journey.Their journey to quench the thirst of knowledge,their journey in search of love,happiness and peace.They keep wandering,alone along the road,and smiling...The wayfarers,the wanderers...

...We live in a world of fantasy and dreams, where most objects are inflated beyond recognition.Fake world,fake people.Lost and corrupted souls.A world where true love does not exist,a world which live on biological needs,a world where love doesn't suffice,a world which demands war and bloodshed,a world which betrays.They love their journey,they keep wandering in the same world.They keep wandering,alone along the road,and smiling...The wayfarers,the wanderers...

...Life is all about loving others.We need to just keep on trying.It is not about how others are loving us - but rather about our loving others.Life's jagged pattern is a chiaroscuro,and  happiness bathes  in these extremities.They experience its madness.They dance,they tumble and fall, they don't cry,they don't complain,they stand up and join the tune again. They don't let themselves bring down by sorrow or pain,ever be faithful their life is not in vain.They keep wandering,alone along the road,and smiling...The wayfarers,the wanderers...

...They keep their journey going.They never make enemies.They don't keep grudges.They believe in building bridges.They are the messengers,the harbingers of GOD,If they don't build bridges, how will we get peace on earth? If they don't spread love, happiness and peace, how will we get harmony and brotherhood on earth?

If they don't, who will???

And they are still wandering, alone along the road, and smiling...just following the faded footprints..They face the pain due to thorns in their path,they consider the ache,they neither curse the path nor the thorn, they dance in the rain, they wander insanely,silence is their virtue,and so the wayfarers are the eternal preserver...

But why is there a need ??why is there a need for suffering?? Is it their responsibility ?? Is it a part of their journey ?? Is it what life's all about?? Or it is something else…something more enlightening..or something more diverse..

Hell..Am I contradicting myself ?? Am I going to extremes?? Perplexed?...Always a question! Always a mystery!

Sometimes journey itself is a contradiction! :D 

Wayfarers!

P.S. Pardon me if it is bit confusing or too sombre.For it's just a pigment of my imagination.I've never tried this genre before as it is not my forte,but I guess it still conveyed the main thought :)

P.P.S. I tried my best  to maintain the rhythm and give it a poetic feel but unfortunately I'm not a poet, so once again pardon me if it's not up to the expectation.Alright,I'm too modest! ;):D  

~Sayonara!

Life it is called!

Here I am,once again.140 characters are just not enough.Screw Twitter.Screw Facebook.Screw all other online article sharing platforms.They make us robots.Money making robots.Screw everything that happened.Back to blog.Back to dreams.Back to life.

The world is sleeping right now.Oh yeah! My watch says 2 a.m.Good Morning people. Zzzzee (Can’t hear?)Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (OMG!they can’t.Everyone is sleeping except me. :D)

So Why I deleted all my previous posts.(Still wondering?:O) So why I’m writing this blog once again.(still wondering? :O)Soul searching? Lol.No.Of course not.Am I dumb? Ummm..okay,don’t answer that. :P:D

And the answer is again a question "What is this life full of care,we have no time to stand and stare"-Robert Frost

This quote relates with everyone's life.Often in life,we get so caught up playing duties,roles and responsibilities that we tend to forget who we are,what is our purpose of life? what is our motto? What are we chasing?Is is worth chasing? Is it making us happy( *Eternal Happiness* :D)?or we are just running,running without reason,without purpose, just to quench the thirst of getting success,money,name and fame.We have our answers.All answers.But no solutions.And this is the biggest tragedy of life.

Life is a race,a never ending race and we are entrapped in this cage of life,a never ending loop which will remain unchanged and unresolved.In between we run,we compete,we fight,we chase,we win sometimes,we lose sometimes.Things change, and so do people and this crucified world keeps turning.

Often times when things are difficult,it almost seems like the whole universe is conspiring against you.Everything you do ,say,write - goes against you. Nothing seems to work. That is when the opposite life is at its best.People keep on giving advices.People suggest you to change so that you can bring a positive change in society as well.People force you to chase your dreams and stop competing with others.But things around you get blurred,the day you start earning,the day you become independent,the day you start day dreaming.Nothing is visible to you.A thing quite similar to color-blindness or something of that kind. But then again,change is mandatory.It is the law of nature.We have to learn and change accordingly.

Often,I wonder how many people in my life love me?And I mean truly .Family is an exception, obviously.The strangers,the friends,the society people.I don’t need their love (honestly,for me,the true love of 18 people which I call my family is more than enough to live my whole life happily)but still I wonder sometimes.I am insane(or much like that).I regularly need people to show me that they love me.And if they don’t,it makes me sad.Real sad.:D .I know it is somewhat childish thing and this blog is definitely not to reveal such secrets but I’m actually not kidding.Damn! It's true.

I know life is too short.It just has four letters.We can either keep grudges or we can live it to the fullest.Choice is completely ours.Nobody is forcing or compelling us to change or to do the things we are not suppose to do or the things which we think are morally incorrect.Nobody is judging us,no one has right to judge us.Its completely our life and whatever we make out of it is the outcome of our efforts and maturity level and all such bookish things.But knowing all these sayings,the answer,the search for true love and happiness,the count of persons in my mind remain unchanged,unresolved,always a question.Always a mystery.

The only answer I have today is that life is all about being with those who make our soul smile,it is all about realizing who we should never let go of,rest everything else is material,EVERYTHING.Our sole purpose of life is to experience the big, wide world, to realize our dreams of adventure.When we're able to ask our self a question like, "What is the purpose of my life?" then only we're on the road to self-understanding, self-actualization and, hopefully Self-realization. Oh, and once the journey has begun it seems there is no going back.No turning back.Sky is the limit.Dream.Live.Explore.All smiles. :):)

~Sayonara! :)