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Showing posts with label Rambling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rambling. Show all posts

Friday, May 8, 2015

Autistic Brain

Every sound pings his brain.
Although his hearing is fine,
he rarely meets my gaze.
He fidgets, paces, or circles
as his mind travels mazes of thought.

Contact is not needed, unwanted
touch disrupts circuits,
dislocates the signal from nerves to brain.
He holds my hand on rare occasions,
the ultimate sign of affection.
Sharp as a tack, recalling detail
at the drop of a hat.
He searches the recesses of his mind,
processes questions,
retrieves data along encyclopedic relays.
Mental rifling, through
an accordion file folder mind.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

The End


Whole night the candle burnt
Spreading evenly it's divine light
The wax melted
Like running water
But the wicker happily burnt
rejoicing the dance of life
Unmindful of its plight.

Suddenly there were crackling sound
The light burnt higher and higher
As it sensed the end was near
the candle was evermore sombre

"I lived my life to the fullest...
then why be sad "thought the candle.
So it burnt with all its might
Rejoicing as the end came near.
Then it flickered hardest one more time
In a bid to say goodbye
One last time to all its friends
Then snuffed out peacefully
With a serene smile
For it had fulfilled
the purpose of its life.

METAMORPHOSIS

The sun, a cauldron of fury shone mercilessly that summer,
Burning the porches and verandahs,
Curling the silent leaves within.

The reluctant children dragged in to take a nap
created more havoc within the burning bricks.

Her delicate, tiny fingers molded Ganapati idols
Out of the clay dug from the corner of children's park.

And all of a sudden the scorching universe
seemed to empty its full fury
over her little butterfly shoulders
heaving like a butterfly's wounded wings.
She seethed from within and ran away from the chattering friends
To her mother sleeping in the room.

Mummy I want to say something
She heard a slight murmur and gulped in hot air for courage
I know I will have to stay inside from now
- like didi
Please mummy, don't thrash me-
I didn't do anything wrong deliberately.

She heard a yell and pushed
herself further in the corner

Your sister will deal with it.
My blood pressure has surged suddenly.

She scurried away, careful
not to be too light on the slight feet.

The butterfly wings, soaked in blood,
Fluttered in anticipation of more fragrant meadows
And drooped, heavy with the weight of metamorphosis.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Mirror

Mirror mirror on the wall
be not proud,
You are but human,
reflecting what I permit you to

Switch off the lights above
My spots and moles are hidden
leaving me softly beautiful

Leave the window open
the sunlight forms a halo
Sainthood forced on me

Sometimes I appear garish
cruel and hypocritical
when lights are in overdrive

Darkness defeats you
my shadow is all you see
Unidentifiable

If only you could peep in
and see emotions raw
Heartbreak and jealousy
Anger , ire and sorrow
Dreams and hopes
Suppressed passions

But you are just a painted piece of glass
Reflecting only what I allow you to.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Beautiful Slave

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jYU9meVXKg

I don’t know where I am
They’ve taken all that I had
smuggled in for a lucrative trade
beaten, bartered
broken in, until I obey
I used to be childlike
innocent and safe
now I’m someone Else's treasure
a stranger's pleasure
smothered in shame
succumbed with drugs
but I’m not numb
all I feel is pain
is this all a dream
will I ever be the same?

can anyone hear me?
will anyone break these chains?
who will free me?
from this dark place?
does God see me?
what is His name?
will He help me?
I’m just a beautiful slave

my worst fear is my fate
I’m getting older each day
every girl too old in years
mysteriously just disappears
they never mention her name
they take away piece by piece
I don’t think I have any left
I’ve slowly given up all hope
given in to this sleepless bed
inside these bars
I feel so seared
by each new face
how could this ever be
every memory be erased?

He can hear you
He’s seeking you,
He wants to heal you
Jesus knows the real you

Jesus Loves The Little Children
All The Children Of World
Red and Yellow, Black and White
They’re Precious In His Sight
Jesus Loves The Little Children Of The World
He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands

27 MILLION PEOPLE ARE ENSLAVED TODAY
80% ARE WOMEN 50% ARE CHILDREN
EVERY MINUTE TWO CHILDREN ARE TRAFFICKED…
…FOR SEXUAL EXPLOITATION
TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE

“The Oppressed Will Be Set Free.” –Jesus Christ
Please share this music freely with others.
Use it as a tool to stop this injustice.

Friday, April 17, 2015

Mother

Something pulls at my sleeve--
 in the middle of the night--
 like a tide-- pulling me to shore--
 I rise out of bed and hug--
my mother's absence--
I place a record on her old victrola--
and watch my face spinning around--
 I am a happy child again--
on a merry go round--
The old needle catches--
a strand of her hair she left there--
dragging it around and around--
pretending to be a wounded bird--
 trying to rebuild a nest.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

The Postman

The postman you had befriended
Gathers dry leaves now and
Sings an unfamiliar tune to himself

I’m looking for sustenance in end-rhymes
I’ve bought sleep, a broken moon, wicker chairs
Wondering how long it will be to tranquility

The lake whose shores you used to wander on
Is as dry as a stone which I’ve put in a ring
In the worthless hope that my luck will turn

Colour-coordinated scraps of flattery in the morning
Solitary walks in the afternoon… How will I
Write you letters in my language anymore

The city air is a bilious green, the trees, poisonous
I refer to writing as a bad habit now
Breaking old glass panes with new pebbles

Only an enchanted madman, lazy, gaunt
Gathering dry leaves all day
The postman you had befriended

~ PABLO AND THE POSTMAN
(After watching Il Postino)

Poets

Poets are never yours. They just belong to their muses. And the problem is anybody and anything can become a muse .
Secondly- poets are insecure. they need constant reassurances that they are good. And you just are at loss on how to reassure them because it will never be enough
Third - Normal conversation is almost gone. You feel like you are dating an English grammar text book. Fourth - They only know to receive compliments , they don't know how to give one. And no writing a poem on how good the last night was doesn't count as a compliment.
Yes poets make you a poet too temporarily , but you lose out on your own identity and aspirations. Because I admit a poet can project his life as an inspiring one, but that is his life you are living, not yours and you don't even get acknowledged or appreciated for that. Yes poets make you aware of many things, but most of all your incompetence . Poets are not liable to make you jealous. They actually have to make you jealous otherwise their art fails and that is my personal take.

Art Of Living

ART-OF-Living !! These three words play a vital role in my life.Especially when you belong to an orthodox family,you follow the principles,guidelines and sayings of your elders without questioning or asking for the authenticity of it.
I am a Mamma's boy and I am tortured and teased by many people due to my silly habits.At some stage of life when you start knowing the reality,when you enter in the business world all such principles seem partially useful to you,semi conditional stage,I mean. I am an ardent Jain Follower.I don't drink,smoke,bark,abuse or shout like animals.I talk to girls,mostly girls,I don't waste time with boys there is a huge list and I am very selective about it.I don't find it wrong in any manner.Am I wrong?


I majorly talk to strangers.I don't see their faces or brand and we discuss certain topics upto an extreme level and finally some up the conclusion in form of a short written statements or writing articles or blogs hosted on various online websites and we are paid for it.So much of online business in form of creating blogs,websites,copy writing,editing,proof reading,making logos and may of the creative things.
So many people judge you,when you touch the reality of life,face different facets of life,cross certain aspirations and goals,you make friends and enemies both.I prefer making friends and stay away from those who prefer to become enemies,most of them take it as cowardice but I don't mind.I am super happy for their unkind behaviour.For me,my close friends and my family matter,rest I take people for granted.I do social service,sometimes for my own sake,sometimes for humanity.
 

I crave for nice things,everyone does,nobody take shit now-a-days.I am good at listening.I speak less and when it becomes necessity.Well,lets not dig deeper.I am surely gonna write an autobiography like GandiJI did but for that you need time,and if by chance I am caught red-handed  doing some illegal things and sent to jail,I will surely complete my dream of writing autobiography there.No time for it right now.Only two years and more things to accomplish.  
Well,I support three NGO's "Make A Difference","AIESEC" and "PETA". I work for other in college "EWB-IET Chapter" and "Rotoract Club". So much of social work in past 3 years and it is still continue in form of projects(which deals with educating children and visiting oldage homes) till now.

The Art of Living is a not-for-profit, educational, and humanitarian NGO. The organization operates globally in 152 countries where it runs humanitarian projects and courses based on yoga, meditation and breathing techniques such as Sudarshan Kriya.

Founded in 1981 by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar,The Art of Living is an educational and humanitarian movement engaged in stress-management and service initiatives. The organization operates globally in 152 countries and has touched the lives of over 370 million people

The programs are guided by Sri Sri's philosophy of peace: "Unless we have a stress-free mind and a violence-free society, we cannot achieve world peace." To help individuals get rid of stress and experience inner peace, The Art of Living offers stress-elimination programs which include breathing techniques, meditation and yoga. These programs have helped millions around the world to overcome stress, depression and violent tendencies.
 

I am from computer background,and software engineer find and see failure in everything.I am not against "ART-Of-Living" people or the work they do but the volunteers spreading their knowledge and awareness are mostly uneducated and dumb,here by dumb means idiots.They are making posters and popularizing their events via social and electronic media and they don't have proper knowledge of what they are spreading.
They spread poison in name of Art-Of-Living. If you genuinely feel like doing social work,spare some time,go to schools and old age homes and spread love,harmony and teaching and sayings of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar Maharaj and all.
Don't use social and electronic media and misuse it naming "Art-Of-Living" events.Politics has lead it to some very poor level.Specially,the intelligent people (that includes me,unfortunately :P) can't digest the wrong doings.I am strictly against of such people who do social work for their own sake.Most of them donate to charity just to prove they are nobler than other people and the people who actually work hard never come into the picture as the credit is taken by the higher individuals.And it also does not reach the right audience.A poor child is not going to watch facebook links and apply for your events.Rich people are busy doing other things on Internet which I need not to mention on my social blog. 


The Art of Living movement has the main message of spreading peace across communities through diverse humanitarian projects, including conflict resolution, disaster relief, sustainable rural development, empowerment of women, prisoner rehabilitation, education for all, and environmental sustainability.Keep it that way only.Spread smiles,don't make it havoc.

PS: This Post is not to point out fingers on any particular individual but I face certain issues in between why I find it necessary to share it with everyone.No hard feelings for "Art-Of-Living" people including the girls who take lot of advantage of such events that I will tell some other day. :D

Friday, April 10, 2015

Memory


We took you
beautiful white filly
rode you
returned you

You were our archway into
desire and fulfillment
pleasure and the forbidden
fear of punishment and perdition
love and longing
passive
feminine
law beaking
but none of that stopped us

Initiation
into
that other world
where your galloping hooves
were like
thundering surf
in our
wet dream

We will always
hold you
in remembrance
as sacred
though
now you are
just a
memory.

Annihilation

Since a while I have Restrained my heart
From listening to its heart
It felt like crying
A bit like dying
But I had been prying
And I didn't let it do
What it wanted to
So I told my heart
U have to be happy buddy
U'd been sad for long already
It didn't reply
Neither looked up to me
But obliged and succumbed
the call Of its heart
into oblivion
I did see my heart Killing its heart All this it did Just for me
And then I saw my shadow
Standing - Shivering- Cruelly..

Poetry-The Ethics And Learnings

A nameless void sets in
To the poet's heart and to the vicinity
Of his existence from nowhere.

The birds stop singing,
The stream stops flowing,
The breeze stops blowing
And the stream of conscious of the poet
Meets a road-block,
As you depart the scene in a huff.

Now tell me...
How shall you assure the birds
That you have come back and
That you shall not leave them
So that they get their melodious voice back?

Now tell me...
How shall you convince the stream
That you have come back again
That you shall not leave it
So that it remembers the formula of its perennial flow?

Now tell me...
How shall you convince the breeze
That you have come back and
That it should come alive from its frozen state
For the sake of humanity?

Now also tell me...
How shall you
Console the poet
That you have come back for good to him
Who laments inconsolably over the
Death of his quill and spill of the ink. ?

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Back to music

                                                                                                                                                                         

Music drives you crazy,music make you insane,music gives you life and music never let you die alone.Finally I found those lost headphones back.Days are passing by and I'm wondering why I'm still around.No clue what to do next.One step ahead and I will fall and can't even step back.I finally continue to be alone wondering what my true purpose is,just getting away from all the stress and trying to protect my soul(from what?I am not sure about).A completely numb stage where you have no idea what to do next,you can't please everyone,you can't settle your differences.

A journey on a completely scary streets and no one to tell the directions.The various colours  life has shown in past few months will be  a part of my memories(Black-Blue,Black-White,Angel-Devil,green and what not....:D)
The multiple personalities I occupied to deal with the external world were the real source of anxiety and what I have carried forward with me even through all the turmoil I have been through will always be a bitter-sweet symphony of memories.Yes,I am recluse and deviant and unsocial and I prefer peace and quiet.I am kind of averse to going out with friends to parties and all(No time to get drunk,I am already at home :D)
Most people with that so called "social" tag live an extra ordinary life with party,light,booze and all other stuff.If this living life like a rich bastard is what you call life is all about,I would rather prefer to say I don't have a life.I lead a normal life,that innocent monster in me loves to live alone with those manipulated scary-senti *dreams*.
 

It's 2 am.Yes,it's raining cats and dogs and I'm here sitting near the window,in depth of solitude,all alone,doing nothing but tapping fingers on my laptop without any reason,the irritating darkness,the anguish,pain and image of those slimy backstabbers,dumb fuckers,asinine morons and lousy souls and many random thoughts in my fickle
mind never allow me to sleep.Emotions,what are they? Sometimes I wish I could kill some people.If it sounds abnormal,yes I am abnormal.Why can't we live the way we want to? Where is freedom? Why is it necessary to read and learn the shit we don't want to?Fuck all rules,regulations and all other society's terms and conditions.Fuck politics.Fuck Indian Education system.Yes,I am frustrated.And this venom spitted in form of words is due to this frustration.Dreams screwed,life screwed and still pretending as if nothing happens.Why I am living?

  
 The faint light coming from top of the window still enlighten a ray hope and keep asking the same question again "will a new life be achieved under the sun"?or that sun won't rise again? The completely clueless mind with no answers.What if I never wake up,it turns out to be a nightmare,a worst nightmare.What if this night never ends..what if??

P.S. Yes,results are out and this crap is an outcome of it.Yes,I am officially dead.

Sayonara. 

Saturday, October 6, 2012

The Angst!

And then sometimes,what we WANT and what we DESERVE are two DIFFERENT things.What exactly is perfection?Trust me,you won't be able to find a single person who you can call as Perfect because perfection does not exist.Perfection is nothing but a delusional myth.Believe it or not.
 

I don't waste your time,I'll be direct.I don't have any role models.I don't follow people.I don't want to be like anyone.I am happy being "ME".Okay,I won't be a smart ass but yes some people inspire me but not completely.I observe them,all their strengths and weaknesses and then I learn only the things I want to learn from them,I adopt or imitate the "good" leaving behind the "bad" part of their character.
 

Eh??Isn't it confusing??Yes,it is confusing.Seriously,I am confused and scared.I won't be able to speak too much right now but yes Engineering life,trust me,you will be remembered.Challenges,problems,struggle and busy schedule altogether.It's difficult to decide the priority especially when the whole world is conspiring against you.But then,I know my priorities,I know what I am doing and why I am doing.I decided to quit but the angst,once again,has given me courage to fight back,to rise again,to give life a one more chance.Rise from ashes and fight for life.Fight for dreams.Sunshine or Darkness?? Love or hate?? Sanity or Insanity ?? Who cares?? I am sane,I always was and I always will be,no matter what.Yes,I matter,my decisions matter,my priorities matter,my loved ones matter,my life matters.I have my answers.All answers.Now kick my ass and I'll fly higher and higher and higher....







Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Don't worry.Be Barfi!

Well,almost all of you know me, but I bet very few of you know my true identity. Now I may sound irrational but the truth about me is that I am crazy(And the good thing is I know that :p).Right now some of you must be thinking that "Abhinav jain" has gone beyond the levels of ordinary madness, but I know some of you are kind enough to wonder 'why'.And this blog post is only for those kind ones who are willing enough to read and give it a thought.
I was supposed to write a movie review, you know, but I thought, then,I am not matured enough to behave like a strict movie critic.So,what to write and what not to, that is the question. Let’s just start from the beginning and write what seems worth writing, isn’t it?But yes,it is definitely not a movie review.
And finally we ran away from college to watch the most awaited movie of this season i.e."Barfi".Yes,it was my suggestion and I was already being punished for giving this suggestion.Ass is still in pain(i mean literally :D).When I asked this question to my friends:”Haan toh ab batao kaise thi movie?(How was the movie?)
The monkey like grin on their faces say it all.Not a single person in my group liked it,except me.I am always the exception.And this becomes the reason for this blog post.Alright,I like the movie(i guess you already got the hint).The question arises why?? And there are many factors.
Firstly,I like the concept,the whole theme of the movie.Many people had a problem with the length of the movie but honestly,I could have stayed in Barfi’s world even longer,its so much fun.Yes,obviously it is a slow paced movie but it is definitely not boring.Cinematography,picturisation and awesome direction by Anurag Basu will surely gonna make it a huge success.
Secondly,the simplicity of the characters,the emotions expressed via different scenes in the movie,concept of trust,concept of friendship and its loyalty test,concept of love(Yes,the unconditional and selfless love),everything is illustrated so nicely and beautifully.And of course,awesome performances by Ranbir,Priyanka and Ileana D'cruz.Kudos to all of them.
This character of "Barfi" played by Ranbir is the eye candy of the movie.Though he is dumb and deaf but how he manages to make everyone smile and laugh even without uttering a single word is the most noticeable point.So caring.So gentle.So adorable.So sensitive.So unique.So much heart .It is not at all superficial or over expressed.Perhaps,the look of Charlin Chaplin,the feel of jestler's life and the simplicity shown by ranbir throughout the movie added more feathers to the cap of his character in the movie.He has the stupid criteria of testing the loyalty of his friends by lamppost test,the lamppost is made to crash into a bottle on the ground and his loyal friends have to stay holding his hand following his words that the post won’t crush them to death,this way his stupidity and stubborn nature also look cute.His generous and caring nature,his desperation when even he tries to rob a bank, and kidnap his friend is beautifully expressed.The craziness and silliness in the character is not forcefully taken out,rather it comes out naturally.
Then of course the character of an austistic girl played by Priyanka is yet another attention seeker.Her innocence and shyness is beautifully expressed.The way she never allow the strangers to touch her,her grabbing of her dress as protection, her averting of eye contact,her whining and screaming loudly and almost everything about the character is so truly illustrated.
Ileana's beautiful eyes and her smile will compel people to update their crush list,no doubt. Her simplicity,her innocence,jealousy,her internal conflicts,her obligation to respect her parents and beautiful songs shooted in the garden of Darjeeling conveyed every emotion that needs to be conveyed.
Overall,the most complex message came out so simply,truly and beautifully without any kind of exaggeration.Some people live for their personal pleasure.These are the people who do what fun is,what is enjoyable and not what society might wish them to.Not everyone is gifted,not everyone is talented,not everyone is born legend.No one is perfect.We all are imperfect in some way or another.We have our drawbacks and negative aspects but it does not count.It does not stop us from loving each other. Imperfection is not the obstacle,our mentality is.We need to broaden our vision.It's all about how you take life,it's about how you live,how you learn,how you perceive,how you deal with the odd situations. The dumb and deaf character in the movie named "Barfi" truly inspires.
The unconditional and selfless love depicted by the duo in the movie will definitely compel viewers and spectators to burn their brain cells.It depicts the true value of generosity and emotions, specially the nose-kiss scene is so adorable which is indeed a unique element,at least for me as I've not seen it before anywhere, and the best thing about the movie is that it has a "Happy Ending" which you rarely find in romantic love stories. It simply says count on to the lives in one moment, not the moments in one Life.
Live a big life, live life King size,and not a Long and Small one.Don’t worry.Be crazy.Be passionate.Love others and let yourself be loved.Be Barfi!! :)))
 
SEO
P.S. Did I mention that it has the most soulful,melodious and beautifully composed music along with great and inspiring lyrics.Here is a glimpse of it !
"..Itthi si hansi
Itthi si khushi
Ittha sa tukda
Chand ka
Khwabon ke
Tinkon se
Chal banayein
Aashiyaan..... (Repeat once)
Dabe dabe paaon se
Aaye haule haule zindagi
Hothon pe koonti chadake
Hum taale laga ke chal
Gumsum tarane
Chupke chupke gaayein
Aadhi aadhi baatein yeh
Aaja dil ki ye zameen
Thoda sa tera sa hoga
Thoda mera bhi hoga
Apna ye aashiyan...."

~Sayonara!